My freebirth during the SARS-CoV2 pandemic

Anyone who has followed my page for a while will know that I have always loved the idea of freebirth and that I've been hoping to freebirth some day since the birth of my first child. Well, I finally did it! And it happened in the midst of the SARS-CoV2 pandemic. For me, freebirth was the perfect solution to all the problems the virus has thrown at pregnant women during this time of upheaval. 

To give you a bit of background and lay the stage for the story, I had my first child in 2015. She was born at 43+3 and at the time, we lived in an NHS Trust that was extremely risk averse. Needless to say, when my pregnancy went so far post dates they withdrew support for my planned homebirth. Taurean that I and my husband are, we plowed on with our plans regardless and began researching freebirth. When number 1 was born we excitedly prepared our birthing space and danced about our sitting room for 8 hours until Social Services knocked on our door and my labour stalled. Undeterred, we laboured on after they went away until our baby began to crown. She had a large swelling on her head and my husband wasn't sure what he was looking at, so we called the midwife 21 hours into labour. Two midwives came directly despite the previous refusal of support, along with the Supervisor of Midwives (SOM) because I was birthing outside of normal trust protocol and because Social Services had become involved. Number 1 was born an hour later, peachy and perfect if but a bit bruised about her crown. 

In the grand scheme of births, this one was normal in terms of physiology, but a bit traumatic in terms of the stance taken by the trust. I noticed that as soon as other people entered my birth room, my flow was disrupted. I no longer felt free to be intimate with my husband. I felt conscious of my naked body and inhibited. I felt my choices as a mother were criticised and my ability under question. Every sensation felt a little bit more tiring and painful. 

So I decided next time I was going to do it all on my own. 

In July 2016, I completed training as a doula. I also fell pregnant with twins. In August, I finally married my husband (we do like to do things backward in our home). I started planning my freebirth and life was very exciting. 

Sadly, this pregnancy ended in a late pregnancy miscarriage. I birthed my tiny babies on the toilet at home knowing they had no chance of survival at home or in hospital. I had two more early miscarriages in the next two years. 

After this, when I fell pregnant with number 2 in August last year she felt ever so precious. I talked myself out of freebirth with the thought of, "if something goes wrong and I lose another baby, I'll never forgive myself." 

So I planned a homebirth with a lovely midwife from the Morecambe Bay Community team where we had recently moved. I was really pleased with the care I received since the team was very supportive of gentle approaches to normal birth. They were even excited and intrigued by my birth plans inclusion of cultural traditions from my Abenaki heritage. Not many American Indians have birthed in Cumbria so it was a chance for them to learn something new. 

When I was 37 weeks pregnant, my midwife phoned on the day she was due to drop off the boxes of supplies for my homebirth. She was extremely apologetic in telling me that the trust was not able to support my homebirth any longer as they were reserving staff and ambulances to treat patients with COVID19. I was absolutely gutted. I had no childcare for our older daughter, so my husband would have to stay home with her, while I drove an hour to Lancaster while in labour to deliver on my own. I took a deep breath as my heart leapt into my throat because this was the universe telling me it was time for me to freebirth! I told my midwife I would still birth at home only on my own. 

She was actually very supportive. She reassured me that should something go wrong and cause a genuine emergency, like a haemorrhage or unwell baby an ambulance would come. 

In the next few days, I quickly gathered the supplies I thought I would need that would have otherwise been supplied by the NHS - or rather, holistic versions thereof: lots of towels, blankets to wrap the baby in, essential oils, my rebozo, my acupressure manual, shepherd's purse tincture, homeopathic remedies, cord ties. And I read everything I could find on freebirth. I filled my head with positive freebirth stories from women who had done it successfully before. 

When I was 39 weeks, I had a tiny gush of waters while climbing into bed. "This could be it," I thought! But nothing happened. Days passed by and I thought I might have to go into hospital for induction. I spoke to a friend who helped me find my calm center once more and I decided to wait and monitor myself and my baby. I did not loose any more water, my baby seemed well and I had no signs of infection. 

My due date came and went...

At 41 weeks, I lost a chunk of mucus plug." This could be it," I thought! But again, nothing happened. I spoke online with several doula friends and signed off knowing they were energetically supporting me and they would be waiting for news! 

On day 41+2, I was extremely emotional. "This pregnancy will never end," I dispared. If one of my clients had said that to me, I would have known to get my doula bag ready. That night I let my daughter stay up late while I talked to my mum in the USA on Skype. Our conversation was really comforting. We signed off at 8:45 and I had what felt like some strong braxton hicks. I helped my daughter brush her teeth, read her a bedtime story, and laid with her while she drifted off to sleep. 

As the bedside clocked rounded half past nine, I began to feel some uncomfortable cramps and decided to get up and go to the toilet. 

While I was in the bathroom, I puffed through some more braxton hicks. 

"You're making an awful lot of noise in there," my husband, James said, knocking on the door. 

"I don't want to be wrong again, but I think maybe... I might be in labour," I replied. I went on to tell him we should just wait it out and see. 

"I'll just go wash the dishes," he finished the conversation. 

When I went downstairs after washing my hands, he'd prepared my labour space beautifully. He'd arranged foam mats on the floor, lit some candles and pulled my birth box and rebozo out of the cupboard.

As I rocked my hips through a contraction leaning against the table, I thought how blessed I was to be married to a man who knows me better than myself. 

"I'm going to go wash the dishes and warm some towels now," he said wandering into the next room. 

I swayed and paced through two more contractions, then popped my head into the kitchen. He hadn't even finished drawing a sinkful of water!

"I need you now," I huffed, thinking this was far too fast! I went back to my birth space and knelt on the floor mats. 

Sure enough, The baby's head was already crowning. James could just see it emerging. I put my hand down and felt slimey hair on my baby's head. The sensations were beginning to feel like burning so James ran to the kitchen to fetch warm water and a flannel. He came back and threw a pile of towels between my legs while I held the warm wet cloth to my perineum. 

In two more pushes, our baby slipped out so fast James could not catch the babe and they fell onto the towels. James pushed the bundle between my legs and I picked my baby up. 

The tiny being was gasping and spluttering amniotic fluid so I instinctively put my mouth over their nose and mouth, sucked the excess waters away and spat them on the floor. 

I cuddled my baby as I sat back on the sofa to wait for the placenta.

"It's a girl," I said in shock. We'd guessed it would be a boy. 

About fifteen minutes later, I felt the urge to push and the placenta came away. James carefully placed it in a colander with a bowl underneath. I inspected it to make sure there were no missing pieces, while I sucked on a small piece I nipped from the edge just in case I was bleeding too much. Then we dressed the placenta in salt and nice smelling herbs and wrapped it in towels so we could leave it attached until the next morning so baby could get her full stores of blood and stem cells. 

James glanced at the clock and confirmed it was just after 11:00. It had all happened in less than two hours! 

My husband started a fire in the wood stove while I snuggled our new baby. Then he went upstairs to wake our older daughter so she could meet her new baby sister. My heart felt fit to burst as I watched her investigate the baby and listened to her chatter away in an excited sleepy voice. 

Soon, we all went to bed together to rest and recover. 

The next morning, my midwife rang for my 41 week check in. She was pleased to hear the baby had arrived so uneventfully. She came to weigh the baby later that day and again on days five, ten, and sixteen. 

It was a wonderful experience and I am still in awe of the female body's ability to birth a baby when it is completely undisturbed. I am excited by the fact that many women who would previously not have considered homebirth or freebirth have now done so because of the Coronavirus. Undisturbed birth is being seen as not only a safe option, but an empowering one once more. I hope that this trend continues as options begin to return so that all mothers can have the birthing place of their choosing.

In my next blog, I'll be sharing the reasons why homebirth and specifically undisturbed birth are so important to me. It'll be fully referenced so you can read the studies and decide if homebirth is right for you. 

I'm now on maternity leave for at least six months so am not taking bookings but I'll still be writing occasional blogs and sharing with you online.